CRAZY LIFE!

Sorry it has been so long since i have updated you. Lots of stuff has been going on i dont even know where to start there is so much on my mind...........Have been sick on and off for the past month. Its really is starting to piss me off! i am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. The other day my mom and Grandma came to visit and my mom kept asking if i was "ok" I kept saying yes mom im just tired, i was feeling like crap. My mom had a really tough time with it, she even called later and asked are you sure you "ok". I said why because i looked like shit today, i feel like shit. The day got worse my body hurt so bad that i couldnt get off the couch my body hurt so bad. I was counting down the mins for Eric to get home and play with Ari. I feel like im failing as a mother when these days happen. Not only that but also failing as a wife.

Eric has enough on his plate. I can't imagine coming home to a sick wife all the time and unclean house, having to make dinner for the family because your wife has to go to bed. Or how about leaving work several times to bring your wife to the ER. How about waking up at all hours of the night because your wife cant stop coughing and its interrupting your sleep. Or that you cant go certain places of fear that your wife will get sick. Or massaging her body, not to have sex (yes i went there) but because it is causing so much pain. This is the horrible Cystic Fibrosis that WE live with everyday. I LOATHE YOU CF!! This is what my AMAZING Husband has to go through almost everyday! Dont get me wrong there are good days too, but they have been few and far between. This is what true love is, this is the man that i waited for all my life. Women i hope your husbands are as good,I say "as good" because i know they are not better! ha.

Now his plate the last month not including Ari and I. Both are cars took shits. Eric's is now fixed. Mine is still broke and was quoted 2000 bucks to fix. Currently my wonderful grandma is letting me use her car. Our AC has been on and off broken the last 3 weeks and will finally be fixed tomorrow morning. I have been to the ER 3 times Urgent care 1 time, Hospital for 2 days.  I am no longer bring home any kind of income which hurts us financially. We have tons of medical bills coming in. Hurley our dog that we gave to my mom, was hit by a car on Hwy 12 and died. My mom fell apart. Eric was really sad. It has been a very difficult month to say the least. I can only pray that it gets better, and there is something Wonderful around the corner.

This is the part where my faith becomes stronger in God because i know he is the only one that is getting us through all of this. I dont know if anyone else has had this feeling but you know when you dont do something you know you should and a voices is telling you to do it, but you are to scared of nervous or dont have time. It's GOD! and i know that but sometimes i ignore it. which i shouldnt. Well today i had a PFT done at North Memorial Hospital and on my way out i passed this room that said CHAPEL open 24hours. All of the sudden a voice saying turn around go in. Im waiting for you!! I was nervous and scared i made a u-turn in the busy hall and went in. as i turned around i felt a sense of relief. then thought oh no what if other people are in there? the voice-does it matter they are here for the same reasons. RIGHT. I went in it was very small at the alter was a prayer request sheet. I sat down and filled it out. It was about half a page long and knew i could easily fill it up so i did, then i prayed about everything else i couldn't fit on the sheet. I pray every night but for some reason this automatically gave me a sense of relief. Like God heard me 100 times more than if i pray in bed. It was AMAZING!