Curve ball

I have been feeling sick again, but this time I think its straight up nerves. I am stressed out!!! I keep surpressing it because Eric has enough stuff to deal with. Tonight I just broke down and started crying. It starts with not having any money and waiting on some things that are suppose to come through. The simple fact that when you don’t have money to spend you want things more than you normally would. DEPRESSING!

Then tomorrow I go to the Mayo for an appointment knowing that next week I will be in the hospital for 3 days. This is my first time where I know I have to go in and be away from Ari. My heart breaks I tear up thinking about it. I hate being away from her. She is obviously in good hands my mom and friend tiff will watch her and Eric will be here after work.

 This is not like a vacation even though people try to tell me that. This is like going to jail! Ok maybe not that bad, but if I leave my room I have to wear a mask and check in and out. That part really sucks plus push around an IV stand. People look at you like why are you walking around? you look ill. UGH Whatever it has to be done for me and my family. Im bringing the laptop so I will have contact with the outside world. Haha

Im also scared about what meds they will want to put me on. I think one will be Zyvox and that’s the med I wanna blame for my terrible nose bleeds last time that ended up in several visits to the ER and 2 cauterizations. I am also allergic to a very powerful antibiotic for one of my bugs. That really sucks because it works really good. So when I do come home I will have a  PICC line which is different than an IV only because a Picc goes in your upper arm and into your heart. Where as a IV is usually on your hand or arm and just goes into your vain. I think the plan is to be on 3 different antibiotics and get rid of some of the bugs……………only for another one to take over the clean space. I will know more Friday when I meet with all of the docs and figure out the plan of attack. I hope to be feeling like a million bucks going into the Winter. UGH I don’t like that word. Someday we will migrate with the birds and leave the cold behind.

Stay tune for more info